I feel bad for how I treated you, Rio. But I wouldn’t do anything differently in the end.

I cheated on my ex with my current boyfriend and regret it. Severely. They say pain goes away with time, but even now I still lament over it. My relationship with my ex was long distance. I never met him. Yet, we connected in a way that I’ve never felt before, and honestly, I think I never will again. I don’t really know why I cheated. Maybe it was the thrill of it. Maybe because I was young. Maybe because I thought I would be forgiven. I think, maybe, it’s all of these. It hurt him really bad. He did forgive me, at least, he said he did, but we did not get back together. In a way, I’m relieved. He deserves better. But I miss him. I wonder how he’s doing. When things get bad, I imagine it’s him who helps me through it, because he always did. I love my current boyfriend, but in a different way. It’s more in an admirable way. I think my ex was my first love. My current boyfriend doesn’t understand me as well as my ex did. I miss being understood. I hope you’re okay.

I’m still in love with you. It hurts so much. I see you moving on and I want for you to be happy and if that means not being with me that’s ok. But it hurts. Everytime I see you u get lost in your beauty. Your laugh. I want to know what you’re thinking, I want to know what is happening in your life. I want so desperately to be someone you enjoy being around. But I do not think you want that. I do not even think you want to be my friend. And I accept this. I will not force anyone to like or love me. But it hurts because you told me you wanted me. And now you don’t.

I made a mistake. About in September I was a friends place and we were cooking together I had strong feelings for her for a long time I thought she was amazing and I don't know why I did it but I kept putting my hand on her shoulder when we were talking I didn't even realise I was doing it till I left , she spoke to me about it after she said she wasent upset about it and I did apologise and she did forgive me and we have spoken a few times sence but I feel so guilty about it like I've done something far worse then what I did and I've been struggling to live with it sence then I know nothing bad is gonna happen so I'm not worried about it and I've used it as motivation to better myself but I still feel like a monster I'm not trying to play some victim no what I did was wrong but it's in the past and I've learnt from so why do I still feel so guilty about it